Embodied Living - Survival to Thriving

An exploration of embodiment through lived experience, written by certified Tantric Sexologist, Natalie Glavær

Do you ever wonder why, despite all of your efforts, you still feel stuck and that something is missing?

What If a lot of what you're where thought to “fix” yourself is actually what is keeping you stuck. Envision a life where you not only survive but you thrive, what if this healing journey isn't so much about changing who you are, but becoming who you were always meant to be.

Let's explore the concept of embodiment and how this is key to go from survival to thriving. This is not a scientific paper and my focus will be on my experience including information I have come to learn from different experts around trauma and the link to embodiment.

Embodiment

This was a concept that was very confusing for me for a long time, embodiment is a concept that is being thrown around a lot these days, especially in spiritual communities and mindfulness industries. What does it actually mean? I believe it means different things to different people, and for many it doesn't mean anything yet. For a long time I did not understand what that word meant, people talked about it as they understood the meaning of it, but for me it was confusing and something I understood to some degree on a mental level, but it did not really make sense to me. Nor did it help google it, it just got more confusing back then - let's explore why.

What is Embodiment?

Two years ago I was saying a full body yes to an education in the field of tantric sexology that would embark me on a journey to really understand what this concept so many in these communities were talking about, and I would learn a new level of what it actually meant.

But before we explore that further I want to speak into something interesting, because embodiment is not described in conventional dictionaries as the term it is referred to in this article. Nor is it found in the American Psychological Association online dictionary for the word Embodiment.

When I searched for it, it came back with “Sorry, “embodiment" is not in the Dictionary of Psychology. Please report to APA if you believe this is an error.”

The definition of embodiment we can find in regular dictionaries is:

Oxford English Dictionary: noun // Someone or something that represents a quality or an idea exactly // He was the embodiment of the English gentleman.

Britannica: noun // Someone or something that is a perfect representative or example of a quality, idea, etc. // She’s the embodiment of all our hopes.

Merriam-Webster: noun // One that embodies something // The embodiment of all our hopes.

As you see here conventional definitions of embodiment focus on the idea of something being a physical representation of an abstract quality or concept. This is the opposite in the context of trauma and mind-body work. Where it is not about an abstract concept or idea, but about experiencing something - feeling it, living it through the body. So in this sense, embodiment is not about being the perfect example of a concept, and everything about being fully present with your own physical and emotional experience. Instead of embodying an external idea or ideal, it's about sensing and connecting to the body in real time within yourself.

I

would describe embodiment like this:

Embodiment: To be in the Body- experiencing yourself within the experience. To truly be embodied in the sense I am referring to in this article, you need the courage to feel yourself. You have to be willing to sense, feel, and experience what's happening inside of you and your body. It is the willingness to be present with yourself, through whatever experience you're having. Embodiment is the experience of being fully present in your body, actively sensing and feeling yourself within each moment. It's not so much about what you do, but how you do it, and the body is the pathway to this experience of embodiment. Awareness, presence and your willingness to feel are key in this journey.

Embodiment I believe is an experience, not a static destination but a dynamic, ongoing process, where you actively choose to be present in the full range of our human experience. In the sense I am referring to it isn't a rigid set of practice made to achieve specific outcomes. Yes we use tools and techniques as a way to deepen the connection to ourselves, but as a way to explore and sense the different nuance of life within our internal universe, they're not a goal but rather a pathway.

It's similar to practicing martial art: you practice the fighting technique over and over again, not for the sake of the repetition itself, but to cultivate the ability to respond more freely and intuitively in the moment. Practice builds the foundation, and true mastery lies in the ability to adapt and flow with what arises in real time, this is what embodiment is all about as I experience it.

Often people like myself come to embodiment work seeking healing, to address past traumas or disconnection, but we stay because of the profound shift in our experience of life. This shift isn't just about “fixing” what's broken - it's about transforming how one lives. Life shifts from feeling muted to vivid, from distant and detached to fully magical and vibrant. So let's explore what is blocking people from living a more embodied life.

Trauma & Embodiment

I believe you can't experience embodiment if you're living in a constant state of trauma or stress response. Trauma, in its essence, is protective- designed to keep you safe. But if unprocessed, it becomes destructive over time, keeping you disconnected from your body and the present moment, which is the fundament for embodiment. In a trauma state, it's difficult and sometimes impossible to fully inhabit the body and engage with your experience. Embodiment, as I am discussing it here, is the opposite of trauma I would say. While trauma response shuts down parts of the body to ensure survival, embodiment is about opening up - feeling, sensing and fully experiencing what's happening inside of you.

What is Trauma? And why does it matter?

The standard definition of trauma, as outlined in the DSM-5 and DSM-5-TR, emphasizes exposure to events involving actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence.5 This narrow focus was designed to identify clear criteria for diagnosing trauma-related disorders like PTSD. However, many experts argue that this view fails to capture the full range of human experiences that can lead to trauma.

Let's explore what some of the leading experts in the field say about this:

Gabor Matè, renowned for his work on trauma, states, “Trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you”. In other words, it's not solely about the event, it's about how that event shapes your internal world and disrupts your natural state of being. This view highlights how even seemingly “minor” stressors, such as ongoing emotional neglect or relational tension, can leave deep scars if they undermine a person's sense of safety and self.

Similarly, Peter Levine, known for his development of Somatic Experience, explains that trauma arises when “there is a lack of choice, something from which we feel unable to escape” For Levine, trauma is not defined by the severity of the event, but how it overwhelm the nervous system's ability to process and respond. This more holistic and broader understanding acknowledged that trauma can come from chronic stress, ongoing relationship difficulties, or emotional challenges - not just from life-threatening situations.

Bessel van der Kolk, a leading trauma researcher and author of The Body Keeps the Score (2014), critiques the narrow clinical definition by emphasizing how trauma impacts the body. He argues that experiences leading to feelings of powerlessness or emotional overwhelm, such as long- term relational problems or emotional abandonment, can be just as traumatic as physical threats. Van der Kolk`s focus on the body`s memory of trauma underscores how healing requires more than cognitive restructuring- it requires reconnecting with the body and reclaiming one`s sense of safety.

Connecting Trauma & Embodiment

So as we see these broader and more holistic views on trauma have a profound implication for understanding embodiment. And in the world we live in today, I believe this is an essential part of healing and for supporting people in a more wholesome life experience. As Matè and his fellow researchers are teaching and writing in their books, when trauma disconnects you from your internal experience, it creates barriers to embodiment because it pulls you out of the present moment and into survival states. Levine`s emphasis on the nervous system highlights that unprocessed trauma keeps you stuck in fight, flight or freeze modes, making it difficult to inhabit your body fully. Van der Kolk`s research suggests that by becoming aware of bodily sensations, you can start to release the hold of past trauma, paving the way of true embodiment.

As I am exploring and in my own lived experience; in essence, the journey to embodiment is about moving beyond trauma states. Trauma narrows your focus to survival, embodiment invites you to broaden your awareness, deepen your presence, and open you up to the full range of human life's experience.

Trauma Responses and Their Impact on Embodiment

Let's have a look at the different trauma responses, this is key to understanding why unprocessed trauma can hinder embodiment. Here are examples of the different trauma responses and how they can impact your ability to connect with your body.

Fight: Here your sympathetic nervous system is activated, preparing your body for conflict. Symptoms like a racing heart, muscle tension, shallow breathing, being in a state of hyper-alertness, making it hard to relax and fully feel your body. It can show up in everyday life as an inability to sit still or a constant need to stay in control- a state that blocks the openness necessary for embodiment. Lashing out during disagreements, raising your voice, blaming the other person, becoming defensive, a small inconvenience like mess in the kitchen that triggers anger or frustration, this is all examples of how this trauma response can play out in everyday life.

Flight: This response is also tied to sympathetic activation, but instead of confronting the threat, you seek to escape it. Symptoms are feelings of anxiety, panic attacks, restlessness, or the urge to flee the situations, preventing you from staying present. For example, if someone experienced some form of neglect in childhood, they might habitually avoid deep emotional engagement in adulthood, constantly “fleeing” from feelings of vulnerability. This can show up in everyday life as exercising excessively, overworking, avoiding difficult tasks or conversations, keeping oneself busy with less important work to escape the stress of confronting bigger challenges.

Freeze: When the parasympathetic nervous system takes over in a freeze state, you may feel disconnected, numb or immobilized. This shutdown response is the body's way of coping with overwhelming situations, but often leaves you feeling detached from your senses. This disconnection can prevent you from experiencing your body fully and make embodiment feel unsafe. Ways this can show up in everyday life is; struggle to make decisions, even small ones, because you feel paralyzed with fear of making the wrong choice. Procrastination or avoiding deadlines entirely. During conflict, you feel unable to express yourself, you shut down emotionally. Zoning out by binge-watching TV, scrolling on social media or sleeping excessively to avoid dealing with stressors in your life.

Fawn: This is the newest addition in the trauma responses, the fawn response involves people pleasing and appeasing behaviors to diffuse perceived threats. This pattern can lead you to neglect your own needs and desires, creating a sense of internal disconnection. In the long run it may inhibit the development of a strong, authentic sense of self, crucial for true embodiment. This can show up in everyday life like this, at work you agree to take on extra work or responsibility, even when it's overwhelming, because you fear disappointing your boss or colleagues. Over-apologizing during arguments, taking all the blame, anticipating others needs so much that you neglect your own.

A More Holistic Approach

In contrast to the DSM-based perspective, Matè, Levine and van der Kolk`d more holistic definitions acknowledge that trauma is deeply subjective, varying greatly from one individual to another. A traumatic experience for one person, is not necessarily traumatic for another. This holistic approach recognizes that healing involves addressing both the mind and the body, emphasizing the importance of somatic therapies, emotional safety, and relational healing. It allows us to see how unprocessed trauma, even from seemingly minor experience, can keep us from fully embodying our lives.

Healing from trauma is about reconnecting to the body and gently guiding ourselves back to a state of presence. This is where the journey toward embodiment truly begins. My personal experience mirrors a larger movement happening today in the world of therapy—a shift from focusing solely on the mind to embracing the wisdom of the body.

My education in tantric sexology at the Academy of Human Evolutionary Studies has been instrumental in this process. This education is rooted in embodiment, guiding me to know myself on a deeper level. It takes a holistic approach to sexuality, incorporating trauma awareness, shadow work, the energetic dimensions of being human, relational dynamics, spirituality, and the nuanced differences between being an embodied versus a non-embodied therapist.

Through this education, I’ve acquired tools that have profoundly supported my understanding and experience of embodiment, as discussed throughout this article. It’s a journey of integrating mind, body, and spirit—an essential path for healing and thriving. We need a holistic approach like this education is an example of, if we want to experience what embodiment is.

Embodied therapy vs. Non-Embodied Therapy

In the world we live in today, I would go as far as to say that most people-if not all-are in need of an embodied approach to healing. For centuries, our societies have been marked by suppression, unbalanced power dynamics, wars, sexual abuse, human trafficking, the persecution of marginalized individuals, and violent or dysfunctional family environments. Sadly, much of this is still very present in today's world.

Emotional neglect and relational trauma are especially prevalent today.I believe that most trauma stems from some form of relational wounding - whether through direct harm, neglect or unmet needs in connection with others. Research is showing evidence of how trauma is not only experienced individually but is passed down through generations.

For example when my grandfather's generation was growing up, “(and I witnessed this working in a home with elderly)” survival took precedence over emotional expression. There was not the cultural framework nor was it time, or a question to sit down and speak about their feelings and process their emotions. Their energy was consumed by meeting basic needs in challenging conditions. This creates patterns of emotional suppression and survival-based coping mechanisms that get passed down, often unconsciously, to the next generation. And so I believe the spiral goes until someone is ready to be present with and feel what hasen`t before been felt.

We are now beginning to see a shift in today's world. Younger generations have access to information that my grandfather's generation did not due to the internet and the availability of information in the modern world. Our generation is armed with greater awareness and access to resources that are supporting breaking the cycle of ancestral trauma. And we see an increase in trauma informed embodied therapeutic therapists who understand that true healing begins when you include the body, and it happens most effectively when we are held in connection with others.

The current medical healthcare system is a prime example of a non-embodied approach to treatment as I see it. If the healthcare system had a more holistic understanding of human beings, focusing on the mind, body and emotional wellbeing, the state of global health would look very different. However what we see - particularly in the West - is an increasing focus on symptom relief, rather than addressing root causes, and as a result, people are getting sicker in my experience.

Of course I also believe there are many factors contributing to this, such as food quality, environmental toxins, and lifestyle habits, but here I want to specifically focus on the importance on the contrast between embodied and non-embodied healing approaches, witch I believe are essential, because when you heal the root of why you don't take care of yourself in the first place - the other things will come more naturally. When we start feeling worthy and love for oneself, you will also naturally start to make better choices and take better care for yourself.

Gabor Matè has written a book called When The Body Says No (2003), which tells a very interesting link between chronic illness and how suppressed emotions and unresolved trauma can manifest as physical disease.

I believe we have enough research and science today to see that a shift in the way we have been thinking about health is needed. Imagine the possibility if one of the largest organs in today's society would shift from a clinical symptom based approach, to an embodied holistic approach where the whole human was viewed. We have experts in everything today, but what difference does that make if we keep continuing the non-embodied way of medical care? Medication isn't the solution to a complex human experience, I believe we need a holistic approach with a more embodied understanding of the root causes of the complexity of why the disease/dis-ease in body and mind has taken place in the first place.

In conclusion, embodied therapy offers a trauma informed psychosomatic approach where the therapist's own healing journey plays a crucial role. This lived experience enables the therapist to guide clients with deep empathy and understanding, creating a space for true healing. Non-embodied therapy, on the other hand, risks leaving clients stuck in old patterns or re-traumatizing them, as it often relies on intellectual knowledge alone - without the depth of personal experience to inform the healing process. To heal, we need more than just information and talking; we need connection, presence and someone who truly understands the journey! We need an understanding and awareness of the sensation, emotions, and energy held in the body. Embodied therapy emphasizes the interconnectedness of the physical, emotional and mental wellbeing. While a non-embodied approach often focuses on symptoms, not having a holistic view of the totality of health.

You can't meet your clients deeper than you've been willing to meet yourself, and I truly believe and live by this.

My Journey from Non-Embodiment to Embodiment

My journey began in 2016 when I was severely depressed and coping with life in unhealthy ways. I had little emotional intelligence and was constantly reactive, as I lived in a perpetual state of nervous system dysregulation - something I didn't understand at the time. In my desperation, I followed the path I'd been taught: I went to the doctor. This led me to a therapist in clinical addiction psychiatry, but instead of feeling supported, I felt punished. The experience left me even more confused, depressed and helpless.

In 2018, I found a woman practicing Gestalt therapy. I still remember one of the first sessions with her so vividly; while I was talking, she stopped me and asked, “What are you experiencing/ noticing in your body right now?” I remember I felt confused by the question. I didn't understand what she meant - was I supposed to be feeling something in my body? That moment was the beginning of a long journey that would deepen with time.

Awakening to My Internal World

In 2021, I began my breathwork education, which became a catalyst for a deeper awakening to my internal world. A little while before my education started, I had been doing some breathwork here and there. One evening, I was sitting on the coach, thinking I was relaxing watching a movie, when suddenly I felt my body. I was shocked. My body was tense; I wasn't relaxed at all! This realization was a new and deeper start of my ongoing journey toward embodiment- a journey that has continued to unfold in magical ways.

It took more time for me finally having the courage in 2022 to leave a 6 year long heavy trauma bonding relationship, education, practice, and plant medicine before I truly began to understand what embodiment actually meant. Now, when I look back at myself eight years ago, I can hardly recognize the person I was. And the journey I have had the past 2 years with my education in Tantric Sexology has brought me new depths and understanding of what embodiment actually is.

Now after this I finally fully understand what it means, because it is an experience not something to understand with the mind. This education has supported me deeply in my ongoing journey, understanding my trauma and healing some deep wounds that had been blocking me from experiencing embodiment on the level I today am experiencing.

Why Embodiment matters Today

I believe in the fast past world that often disconnects us from our bodies' embodiment has a crucial role in creating lasting change. This disconnection shows up in how one deals with stress, numb ourselves to emotions, and seeks external validation rather than tuning into our inner selves. An embodied approach to therapy helps us come back to ourselves, develop a deeper emotional intelligence, and navigate life with greater ease, authenticity and freedom.

As I have experienced firsthand, the journey from survival mode to experiencing the true magic of life. It requires embracing the body`s role in healing. I believe the body knows how to heal naturally when distractions are removed, and one feels safe enough to be present with oneself. It is a journey about reconnecting, not only to oneself but to others in a more profound way. It's about creating a sense of safety within and cultivating relationships that support our growth, rather than repeating a cycle of harm.

Embodiment matters if you want to enhance resilience, have better stress management, foster a deeper sense of self and self awareness, and feel more connected to yourself, others and life in general.

The Science Behind Embodiment

I have already mentioned some leading experts in the field today, but let's explore it a little further. Today Embodiment isn`t just a concept rooted in spirituality and mindfulness practices - there's a growing body of scientific studies that underscores its importance in trauma recovery and overall well-being. Neuroscience and psychology are increasingly recognizing the body`s central role in processing emotions and healing from trauma. Dr. Stephan Porges has developed the Polyvagal theory that highlights how the nervous system responds to stress and trauma. This theory emphasizes the importance of the vagus nerve, which connects the brain to various organs and regulates the body's responses to stress. According to the Polyvagal Theory, fostering a sense of safety in the body is crucial for moving out of survival states and into a state of calm and connection.

And as mentioned earlier another key piece of evidence comes from the work of Dr Bessel van del Kolk, author of The Body Keeps The Score (2014). As mentioned, his rechered has shown that trauma is not just a psychological experience - it is deeply embedded in the body. Van der Kolk`s studies demonstrate how unprocessed trauma can manifest as physical symptoms and how healing often requires reconnecting with the body through practices like yoga, breathwork and somatic experience.

Furthermore, advances in neuroimaging have allowed scientists to observe the impact of trauma and stress on the brain. These studies show that trauma affects areas of the brain responsible for emotional regulation, memory, and self awareness.

Embodiment practices, like mindfulness and movement therapy, have been found to help rewire these areas, enhancing one's ability to regulate emotions, reduce stress, and experience a fuller range of feelings.

By incorporating embodied approaches, we move beyond the limitations of traditional talk therapy. which often focus on the mind alone. Embodied-based therapies engaging the whole person. creating pathways of deep, somatic healing that address the root causes of disconnection and trauma, rather than just symptoms.

Embodied Practice In Action

Imagine you're in a somatic experience session. You're sitting in a calm, quiet and comfortable space with a practitioner who gently invites you to close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. As you settle in, they ask you to start noticing any areas of tension or discomfort in your body. You might sense a tightness in your chest, unease in your stomach or pain in your neck. Rather than trying to change or judge these sensations, you're encouraged to simply stay with them- breathing and observing what comes up.

You get an invitation to place a hand over the area of discomfort and are asked to breathe deeply into that space. As you do, emotions or memories might begin to surface. You're encouraged to move slowly, allowing any feelings to arise, and be witnessed without rushing to analyze them. Maybe tears come, the need to make sounds, or you notice a subtle shift as the tension starts to soften. This process allows the body to release stored stress and trauma gently, in its own time, through awareness and support.

In a breathwork session, the focus might shift to activating your breath in a conscious connective breath also known as circle breathing. As you breathe deeply and rhythmically, emotions that have been suppressed can start to rise to the surface. There's no need to force anything - just to stay present with the sensations. Sometimes, this can lead to a cathartic release of emotions, like anger, grief, laughter, tears, or a more subtle calm sense of warmth and lightness spreading through the body. The breath becomes a vehicle, helping you move past mental defenses and access deeper layers of stored emotions and experiences in the body.

These are examples of practices that help to bridge the gap between mind and body. They encourage you to be fully present with what is happening in your internal landscape, rather than avoiding and intellectualizing it. Whether it is subtle bodily sensations or a strong emotional release, these sessions support you in experiencing yourself fully, without judgment. This is the essence of embodiment - learning to be with what is in your body, and finding safety in that experience.

Conclusion: From survival to Thriving

Looking back, my journey from survival mode to a life of embodiment has been nothing short of transformative. I began as someone who was completely disconnected from my body, living in a constant state of nervous system dysregulation, feeling overwhelmed, anxious, numb, and having bad relationships. Before I embodying this awareness I understood emotions like joy or sadness intellectually, but when I truly embody them, I started to feel the warmth of joy spreading in my whole body or the weight of sadness resting in my chest. This difference is like going from reading a story to stepping into it and experiencing it firsthand.

I remember those early therapy sessions when the question, “What are you feeling in your body?” left me confused and disoriented. I had no idea how to tune in or why it mattered.

Now, I can say with full conviction that embodiment is not a luxury - it's a necessity for true healing. Learning to be present with my emotions, sensing my own aliveness, and feeling safe in my body has changed how I experience life itself. I went from merely surviving, coping, and getting through the days to actually thriving- feeling connected, alive, and able to embrace life with all its ups and downs.

This journey is not about achieving perfection or finding a quick fix. It's about embracing the messy, imperfect process of becoming more present, more aware, and connected to yourself. It's about moving through old trauma, learning to trust your own body, finding your way back to a sense of wholeness.

For me it has been life transforming, going from survival to experiencing life in full bliss - like having a constant orgasm on life, even when life is challenging, because I am able to stay present within the experience within myself. And the truth is there are no bad or good emotions - it is energy in motion needed to be experienced, and when you cultivate this awareness and skill, life is an ever unfolding teacher for us to grow and evolve. Embodiment is the ability to experience life itself as I see it.

If you, too, have felt disconnected, stuck in survival mode, or overwhelmed by the challenges of life, I encourage you to explore embodied approaches and education like Tantric Sexology. Other embodiment practices like breathwork, somatic experience, or simply learning to be present with yourself, the path of embodiment is a doorway for a deeper sense of freedom, healing, and joy.

This journey, while not easy, is absolutely worth it! And it might just lead you to a life that feels more vibrant and full than you ever thought possible. Going from survival to experience life in orgasmic bliss. This is an invitation for you to explore embodiment for yourself. Don’t just take my word for it—embodiment is something to be lived, not merely understood. Step into the experience and discover what it means for you.

In the end, only direct experience can reveal the true meaning of embodiment.

Are you ready to live a liberated life? The path is already within you—trust it, and let your journey unfold. Remember, you don’t have to do it alone. Every step toward embodiment is a step toward freedom, and you are more than capable of this transformation.